How Many Days?

[notyourcaptain]

Carolyn wasn't aware of how long she slept. A long time. The sleep was broken up by nightmares, brief moments of consciousness that quickly slipped away as her body forced her into rest. Maybe she was just that tired, maybe she just needed it. Or maybe the nightmares kept her from really resting as she should have been, so she slept longer to compensate.

Once or twice, she woke up to find Riddick at her bedside, one firm hand on her shoulder as though to keep her from levitating off the mattress. She was barely awake long enough to acknowledge him. The nightmares were awful and persistant - pitch black and full of viscous blood. She couldn't see anything, but she could hear everything, smell it, feel it, the tearing flesh, the cooling rock under her hands, the screeching and hissing. Now and then, a hand would come out of the dark and haul her to her feet, pulling her out of the dream.

When she finally came back to herself, rested but disoriented, it was dark outside and she had no sense of time, didn't know if it had been hours or days. The light at the ceiling still filled the apartment with a sickly glow and she turned slowly onto her back, finding herself achy and stiff, as though she'd been rigid and tense the whole time. She cleared her throat and blinked slowly, not even sure if Riddick had kept his word, if he had stayed by his side the whole time.

Comments

[notyourcaptain]

A gasp left her lips before she clamp down on her immediate reaction to the touch and her eyes flew open. Immediately she met his gaze, shock obvious in her expression and head tipped back in reaction to the touch. "We-" his hands, sand under her fingernails, Johns' - flushed and angry, getting up in her face, Riddick lifting her bodily onto a kitchen table and sweeping plates to the side, "these are just dreams."

[seesblind]

Riddick doesn't want to tell her about his dreams, about the things he remembers and the way people have spoken to him. "You ever have dreams like this before?"

He can still feel her hand pulling away from him, stolen by one of those things on that planet. Just as he can remember the taste of her skin, the softness of her hands against his chest. Riddick meets her eyes, his fingers curling under her chin. "You really believe that?"

[notyourcaptain]

Her breath was starting to pick up and she didn't like it. "No," she breathed, "but this doesn't make sense." Carolyn wrapped fingers around his thick wrist, pressing over the ridges of bone, but she wasn't pulling his hand away. If anything, she was on the verge of tugging him closer. "You're telling me we have...all these, these memories that we both forgot?" And how could she forget? The more that came back to her, the more she missed them. Holding him in her arms as he shook with some emotion she'd never seen in him before. Her name on his lips.

[seesblind]

"Something made us forget." Just like something has delivered them, first to Gotham and then to here. Being manipulated and controlled this way makeshim angry, a dangerous sort of anger that he's rarely let himself feel. Riddick fights against it, the touch of her hand helping to ground him.

It's enough to press him down toward her, for him to touch her skin, to cradle her face in his hands. This he remembers, and he wonders how he could ever forget.

[notyourcaptain]

"Riddick-" her voice broke and she was horrified to hear tears behind the name. Carolyn blinked quickly, her grip tightening. Having him closer made it harder. There was a war happening in her mind - the memories stoking a need for him in her gut, not just to have him touching her, but simply having him around. But this was Richard Riddick. She ran when he killed Johns. She didn't trust him, didn't know him. But she could also remember feeling his heartbeat hard against her cheek, and the memory was dark, no lights on in that run down apartment while he held her. What she didn't remember was feeling afraid, not then. Now, was a different story.

[seesblind]

"You should shower," he repeats his words from earlier, taking a deep breath before he pushes back to his feet. This is too much for them both, Riddick needs time to process this, to get his control back.

[notyourcaptain]

"Riddick-" she didn't know what else to say besides his name, but she didn't want him to go. Carolyn found herself completely overwhelmed with no idea what was happening, but she did know the idea of bearing it alone was agonizing.

[seesblind]

"I'll be here," he says to her, sure that he knows what she's thinking. It comes from knowing her, here and apparently in Gotham as well. "Can't get rid of me that easily."

[notyourcaptain]

She found herself on her feet, her hand still around his wrist. "Do you have a towel?" A shower, sleep, food. These all seemed important some how, maybe even comforting, but she couldn't seem to let go of his wrist.

[seesblind]

"No. You have to use the sheets." It's a rare enough joke, his mouth twisting into something very like a smile. He looks down at her hand around his wrist, not pulling away. "They aren't fancy."

[notyourcaptain]

Her returning smile is wet and brief. Carolyn drew a hand across her eyes and finally unclenched her grip. "Just...just don't leave the apartment. I feel like we, um..." she took a deep breath and shut her eyes, "we should talk about this."

[seesblind]

"Sure." Talking hasn't ever been a strong point for him, and he's sure that she knows that. But he's not going to disagree with her, not today. "Talk about things we remember from a place we don't really remember being."

[notyourcaptain]

"As good a place to start as any." Besides, these memories seemed to be distinctly more pleasant than the memories from that hell of a planet. Her hand touched at his arm, just a light touch. She was afraid of anything else. "Gotham."

[seesblind]

"Gotham," he repeats the word, lifting his free hand to to brush across her cheek again. "You sure you want to talk?"

[notyourcaptain]

"I can't stand the idea of not..." she went pink and swallowed hard, only half aware of what she was in the middle of saying, "of not remembering." Warm hands. Warm mouths. Carolyn.

[seesblind]

"You sure about that?" Because he wants to know, he wants to know if she's prepared for the fallout. Thoughts and feelings that are their own thrust upon them all at once. Riddick knows how hard it is, they've been filtering in for weeks now.

[notyourcaptain]

"I'm sure." And she was. She wasn't sure why, but she was. She was less aware of the memories that had been filtering in for weeks. It had been more of a feeling. A need to have him near, a willingness to put up with the following. "If...if part of me is missing, I want it back." And she was aware, after the fact, of how that sounded.

[seesblind]

It's enough to hear that she understands what she's getting into, or thinks that she does. Riddick does the only thing he can think of, pulling her toward him, his mouth on hers both gentle and hungry. It's what pulls the last vestiges of walls down for him, a kiss that is but very much isn't their first.

[notyourcaptain]

She wasn't actually expecting that. Her hand came up, slid against the back of his neck, fingers tracing the increasingly familiar ridges of his skull, the smooth skin and thick muscle that corded down to his shoulders. Her mouth tugged at his, spine arching as the kiss bent her back. Yes, this was what she remembered - the flutter of her heart in her chest, like getting too close to a predator, a big cat, something with teeth.

[seesblind]

He is dangerous, and he's sure she knows that, she's seen it up close and personal. It's the only way this can work, understanding that they're both broken and twisted on some level.

She responds and a fire erupts inside of him, a burning need he's been surpressing. Riddick wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her against him and stepping them to the wall.

[notyourcaptain]

Carolyn gasps as she's lifted, her arms twisting around his shoulders in return, one hand dragging over his head. A burst of light in her minds eye and she remembers Riddick pulling a gag from her mouth, heaving her to her feet and carrying her out of somewhere dank and moldy. A basement. Bruises on her face. His hand easing her head down to a pillow.

She moans once, half her own need, half shock, and her legs tighten around his waist. She does know he's dangerous. She also knows he has nightmares and doesn't like to sleep without touching her, when they share a bed.

[seesblind]

It's his fault, he thinks, first that she died and then that she was abducted and hurt. They're things he can never change, but he believes he can keep her safe now. Safe and close, the level of his feeling for this woman beyond what he considers reasonable. He's not sure of it's the weight of her against his body and in his arms now or the memory of it that's affecting him this way.

A hand twists in her shirt as he steps back toward the bed. Riddick tugs at it as he lowers them down. "Tell me, I'll go."

This has to be what she wants. He won't be responsible for breaking her, not again.

[notyourcaptain]

"I don't want you to go." She loosens her grip on him long enough that her shirt can slide up and off her arms. His strength is immense and she finds herself breathless as she's lowered to the bed, never dropped. Carolyn gets her own hands under his arms, sliding them up his back so his shirt close loose from his pants and she can trace muscle with fingertips. "Don't go. I don't want you to go."

[seesblind]

It's what he needs to hear, twisting his own shirt up and over his head. Riddick splays his hands over her stomach, his fingers drifting over the scar that he can remember so clearly now. Before she can protest that he kisses her, needy and pressured in a way he never allows himself to be. With her, it's different, he knows that now. It always has been, and he's done fighting it, not going to fight it again.

[notyourcaptain]

His hand on her stomach is searingly hot, but the ragged lines of the scar are numb. Carolyn shakes slightly, catching his wrist before he kisses her hard and she's distracted by the press of his tongue. She opens up to him, fingers curling against the back of his neck. She's clinging, and she's very aware of it, but her grip won't loosen, and she's still trembling under his hand. She remembers standing in front of him while he sat, remembers that he leaned forward and rested his head against her stomach. It makes her throat ache, eyes burning until she closes them.