How Many Days?

[notyourcaptain]

Carolyn wasn't aware of how long she slept. A long time. The sleep was broken up by nightmares, brief moments of consciousness that quickly slipped away as her body forced her into rest. Maybe she was just that tired, maybe she just needed it. Or maybe the nightmares kept her from really resting as she should have been, so she slept longer to compensate.

Once or twice, she woke up to find Riddick at her bedside, one firm hand on her shoulder as though to keep her from levitating off the mattress. She was barely awake long enough to acknowledge him. The nightmares were awful and persistant - pitch black and full of viscous blood. She couldn't see anything, but she could hear everything, smell it, feel it, the tearing flesh, the cooling rock under her hands, the screeching and hissing. Now and then, a hand would come out of the dark and haul her to her feet, pulling her out of the dream.

When she finally came back to herself, rested but disoriented, it was dark outside and she had no sense of time, didn't know if it had been hours or days. The light at the ceiling still filled the apartment with a sickly glow and she turned slowly onto her back, finding herself achy and stiff, as though she'd been rigid and tense the whole time. She cleared her throat and blinked slowly, not even sure if Riddick had kept his word, if he had stayed by his side the whole time.

Comments

[seesblind]

"I'll be here," he says to her, sure that he knows what she's thinking. It comes from knowing her, here and apparently in Gotham as well. "Can't get rid of me that easily."

[notyourcaptain]

She found herself on her feet, her hand still around his wrist. "Do you have a towel?" A shower, sleep, food. These all seemed important some how, maybe even comforting, but she couldn't seem to let go of his wrist.

[seesblind]

"No. You have to use the sheets." It's a rare enough joke, his mouth twisting into something very like a smile. He looks down at her hand around his wrist, not pulling away. "They aren't fancy."

[notyourcaptain]

Her returning smile is wet and brief. Carolyn drew a hand across her eyes and finally unclenched her grip. "Just...just don't leave the apartment. I feel like we, um..." she took a deep breath and shut her eyes, "we should talk about this."

[seesblind]

"Sure." Talking hasn't ever been a strong point for him, and he's sure that she knows that. But he's not going to disagree with her, not today. "Talk about things we remember from a place we don't really remember being."

[notyourcaptain]

"As good a place to start as any." Besides, these memories seemed to be distinctly more pleasant than the memories from that hell of a planet. Her hand touched at his arm, just a light touch. She was afraid of anything else. "Gotham."

[seesblind]

"Gotham," he repeats the word, lifting his free hand to to brush across her cheek again. "You sure you want to talk?"

[notyourcaptain]

"I can't stand the idea of not..." she went pink and swallowed hard, only half aware of what she was in the middle of saying, "of not remembering." Warm hands. Warm mouths. Carolyn.

[seesblind]

"You sure about that?" Because he wants to know, he wants to know if she's prepared for the fallout. Thoughts and feelings that are their own thrust upon them all at once. Riddick knows how hard it is, they've been filtering in for weeks now.

[notyourcaptain]

"I'm sure." And she was. She wasn't sure why, but she was. She was less aware of the memories that had been filtering in for weeks. It had been more of a feeling. A need to have him near, a willingness to put up with the following. "If...if part of me is missing, I want it back." And she was aware, after the fact, of how that sounded.

[seesblind]

It's enough to hear that she understands what she's getting into, or thinks that she does. Riddick does the only thing he can think of, pulling her toward him, his mouth on hers both gentle and hungry. It's what pulls the last vestiges of walls down for him, a kiss that is but very much isn't their first.

[notyourcaptain]

She wasn't actually expecting that. Her hand came up, slid against the back of his neck, fingers tracing the increasingly familiar ridges of his skull, the smooth skin and thick muscle that corded down to his shoulders. Her mouth tugged at his, spine arching as the kiss bent her back. Yes, this was what she remembered - the flutter of her heart in her chest, like getting too close to a predator, a big cat, something with teeth.

[seesblind]

He is dangerous, and he's sure she knows that, she's seen it up close and personal. It's the only way this can work, understanding that they're both broken and twisted on some level.

She responds and a fire erupts inside of him, a burning need he's been surpressing. Riddick wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her against him and stepping them to the wall.

[notyourcaptain]

Carolyn gasps as she's lifted, her arms twisting around his shoulders in return, one hand dragging over his head. A burst of light in her minds eye and she remembers Riddick pulling a gag from her mouth, heaving her to her feet and carrying her out of somewhere dank and moldy. A basement. Bruises on her face. His hand easing her head down to a pillow.

She moans once, half her own need, half shock, and her legs tighten around his waist. She does know he's dangerous. She also knows he has nightmares and doesn't like to sleep without touching her, when they share a bed.

[seesblind]

It's his fault, he thinks, first that she died and then that she was abducted and hurt. They're things he can never change, but he believes he can keep her safe now. Safe and close, the level of his feeling for this woman beyond what he considers reasonable. He's not sure of it's the weight of her against his body and in his arms now or the memory of it that's affecting him this way.

A hand twists in her shirt as he steps back toward the bed. Riddick tugs at it as he lowers them down. "Tell me, I'll go."

This has to be what she wants. He won't be responsible for breaking her, not again.

[notyourcaptain]

"I don't want you to go." She loosens her grip on him long enough that her shirt can slide up and off her arms. His strength is immense and she finds herself breathless as she's lowered to the bed, never dropped. Carolyn gets her own hands under his arms, sliding them up his back so his shirt close loose from his pants and she can trace muscle with fingertips. "Don't go. I don't want you to go."

[seesblind]

It's what he needs to hear, twisting his own shirt up and over his head. Riddick splays his hands over her stomach, his fingers drifting over the scar that he can remember so clearly now. Before she can protest that he kisses her, needy and pressured in a way he never allows himself to be. With her, it's different, he knows that now. It always has been, and he's done fighting it, not going to fight it again.

[notyourcaptain]

His hand on her stomach is searingly hot, but the ragged lines of the scar are numb. Carolyn shakes slightly, catching his wrist before he kisses her hard and she's distracted by the press of his tongue. She opens up to him, fingers curling against the back of his neck. She's clinging, and she's very aware of it, but her grip won't loosen, and she's still trembling under his hand. She remembers standing in front of him while he sat, remembers that he leaned forward and rested his head against her stomach. It makes her throat ache, eyes burning until she closes them.

[seesblind]

There are too many memories, and they're overwhelming, distracting, driving him mad. But the touch of her skin grounds him (it always has he remembers then pushes that thought away) and the press of her fingers tethers him here in the now. This isn't a dream, this isn't prophecy or a nightmare. This is real and more important than all of that. Riddick shifts over her, even now always careful to not hurt her. He wants to touch every bit of her, slipping the hand that she's holding further down between them.

[notyourcaptain]

It's confusing, because she gets the sense that his touch has always been gentle, even back on the planet, even when he was throwing and pinning her to the ground. It was never about hurting her. But everything is all mixed up and she can't be sure any of it is true. What feels true is the thump of her heart and the way her stomach pulls tight under his palm. Carolyn is panting against his mouth, blue eyes open wide because she's too wrapped up in this to be afraid to meet his strange gaze.

She lets go of his wrist, giving him permission to touch her where he pleases and her own hand drifts up his arm to his shoulder. He looms over her. Too big for the bed. Too big for the room. Carolyn swallows back a gasp and gives her attention to his belt instead.

[seesblind]

He needs her, he needs this, and need is a dangerous thing. He's always been afraid of it and while he usually faces any fear he has head on, this seems to be the exception.

Riddick shifts slightly, roughened fingers skimming the soft skin at her hip, pushing her pants down as he does. It is all mixed up, but he no longer cares what's remembered and what's a dream or if it's all real. Because this is real, her body reacting to his touch, the warmth of her skin and breath beneath him.

[notyourcaptain]

"Shit." There is still a very large part of her that is convinced this isn't real. She is not getting naked with Richard Riddick. For a moment, it is almost as though she can hear Johns laughing at her - Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn. Such a fucking idiot.

But his hands cradle her and she can't remember ever feeling so safe. Maybe this is because they've both finally lost it. Maybe she's dead. But ultimately it doesn't seem to matter a whole lot. She's kicking out of her pants, leaving her in thin underwear and nothing else. He's pulling her hips up still, to get her pants off, and she's dragging her hands up the backs of his thighs.

[seesblind]

It doesn't matter whether they're dead or not, not while they're here. This place is screwed up, but it's a chance to fix things from before. Not that this is how he's meant to fix them, but it's what seems right in the moment.

Never trust your feelings. Don't allow yourself to need.

It's a mantra he knows well, and one he's pushing to the back of his mind. Riddick can't think about that now, not with her beneath him, his knee moving between her thighs and his hand following. He wants her, maybe even needs her. It terrified him before this place, and he fucked things up in Gotham because of it. He knows that now, and he knows he's not going to do that again.

[notyourcaptain]

"Do you remember," she asks, gasping, because she's starting to feel crazy with his hand between her legs and her head spinning, "a fair. Winter. You gave me hot chocolate and my ankle was busted." Carolyn forces her eyes open, meeting his as her hips roll up into his hand, against his leg, "You told me...you told me you were letting me in."

[seesblind]

Talking about the memories is hard, harder than he wants to say. He moves his hand against her, teasing her, wanting her to forget herself completely if only for a few moments.

"I remember," he admits finally, his lips pressed to her ear as he whispers the words. "I remember you sleeping with your head on my chest. Keeping the nightmares at bay."